No Shower? No Problem!

If you have not taken a shower in a couple of days and are having friends over (like for the Superbowl) or just need to go out to the grocery store with kids in tow, here are my tips for you to get that glamorous Mommy Look. WARNING: This look only lasts 2 hours AT THE MOST, and then you will look just like you did before: greasy hair, bags under your eyes and a stained sweatshirt, and honey, after 2 hours, no amount of m.a.c. makeup is gonna do you any good. So listen up!

• Go get your Big Sexy Hair hairspray and do up your hair Texas Style: tease and rat, tease and rat.
• Use your 'holiday make-up', shimmers, sparkles, and or put on a great department store lipstick: don't do both, the look is not 'Wife Whore' just that 'Yes, I'm Alive' look.
• Body spray and NOT perfume. People have caught on to Moms trying to cover up thier body odor with some Ralph Lauren 'Romance.'
• Get out of that sweatshirt and just throw on a flirty top. Just for a couple of hours and pacify yourself that you will be going back into sweats when everyone leaves.

Remember, this look will only sustain you for 2 HOURS! Then, it all starts to crumble away and then you will look like that sweet homeless woman who picks our cans out of our garbage every week (though, she does not have shimmer on her eyes, though I guess I can always suggest it when she comes by... just a thought). Good luck!

For blow by blow Superbowl ad talk, go to adfreak.com. And I just have to say regarding Jessica Simpson: when her Dad was describing her stardom he said something like 'well, of course she is so popular, she is very sexy.' OKAY, CALLING YOUR DAUGHTER, SEXY? That is just too gross for words... this guy needs a wake-up call.