Furry Crab Found Under Housewife's Bed

CALIFORNIA: The latest new furry crustacean to be discovered in the South Pacific, was actually found more than a five years ago--under a couple's bed in San Jose, CA.
The housewife discovered the ugly looking crab when she was looking under her bed for her cat's lost little ball. She looked under the bed, and to her horror, there was a crab-like monster, sitting on a nest of hundreds of kitty jingle balls.
She quickly called Animal Control, who caught the blind crab with a net (along with some sex toys the wife had hidden under the bed) and whisked it away to the nearest Aquarium.
Scientists believe the crab was 'created' under the bed when dog hair, an old crab shell, and their daughter's Tinker Bell pixie dust from Disneyland-all spontaneously combusted. 'All these particles came together for some sort of weird conception' said Dennis Ludquist, a confused marine biologist.
When the wife told her husband about the crab being found under the bed, his reply was, 'if you would clean up the house a little more, this never would have happened.'
Sadly, the furry crab only lived for a week at the Aquarium. The animal control officer forgot to take the only thing he really loved: his nest of kitty jingle balls. -Associated Pissy Press