Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Tom Talks Diapers

Associated Entertainment Pissy Press PARIS
The AEPP caught up with Tom Cruise in Paris where he is promoting his new movie 'M.I. MY ASS.'
"So, why aren't you home with your newborn?"
Tom: "I don't need to be, I can visualize changing Suri's diaper and I can even smell the green poop when I meditate. What did you think of Mission Impossible M.A?."
AEPP: Is it true that the she gave birth in a Scientologist Compound and even though the nurses were sweet, they told her to 'please shut the f*ck up' when she started moaning?"
Tom: "No, that's totally false." (Tight smile) "Did you see the part in the movie where I hung upside down while having tantric sex? No stunt double!!"
AEPP: Wasn't it also true that after you left the room, she was only given an epidural when she begged and promised the anesthesologist she would autograph one of her nursing bras for him since he was a big Dawsons Creek fan?"
Tom: "I didn't hear that."
AEPP: "Yes, well I'm sure at this moment in an apartment in LA, there is some guy walking around with Katie's nursing bra on with the flaps open."
Tom: "I think that's the end of the interview. I'm sure you thought I was totally hot in this this version of M.I."(Tight TIGHT smile).
AEPP: "Wait, one more question! Why can't Keri Russell do all the promoting of M.I. MY ASS? Everyone loved her in the WB's Felicity and the girl rocks with those curls."
Tom: "Well, let's get something straight here. Keri refused to come to the Scientolgist tent I had on the movie lot. Even though we asked her nicely and politely, she still refused. So, I sent one of my guys over to her trailer one night to give her some spiritual guidance, and the next day she's telling everyone on the set she was given an anal probe by my security guy!! Can you imagine? She's going to hear from my lawyer!"
AEPP: "Ummm, okay thanks, I think I got everything" (freak). said off the record
Tom: "Sure, any time (BIG smile), and don't forget to tell all the bloggers about my awesome movie! Oh, and tell all your Mommy Bloggers that all that PPD, baby blues crap is a bunch of psycho nonsense. It's all about the rush man, the rush of life! WHOOP WHOOP!"(Tom raises his fist in the air).
posted by Mom on the Run @ 6:49 PM |


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