Scream Katie, Scream!

Dear Katie Homes:
Take my expert advice: SCREAM! SCREAM LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SCREAMED BEFORE! PULL TOM TOWARD YOU AND SAY 'WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU SCIENTOLOGIST BASTARD?' AND THEN LET OUT A HUGE ANIMAL LIKE GROWL AS YOUR BABY TRIES TO PUSH ITS WAY THROUGH A VERY TINY CANAL!!!
What is Tom going to do...cover your mouth? Hmm. well, he might try, but you JUST BITE THAT HAND AND...SCREAAAM! And say, 'MY GOD LETS ME HOWL WHILE GIVING BIRTH, HE/SHE KNOWS IT'S A MIRACLE AND I SHOULD SHOUT TO THE ROOFTOPS AND REJOICE AND HOWWWWL!
not silence.
this man does not 'complete you' he is 'converting you'...not as romantic as Jerry McGuire, huh? He's hanging on by a very thin thread!
-A Concerned Mom