Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Leif Garrett in Jail

Associated Entertainment Pissy Press: Santa Monica, CA. The AEPP was granted an interview with fallen teen idol, Leif Garrett in his prison cell in Southern California. Leif was arrested for failing to complete his drug rehab.
AEPP: "Oh, wow. YOU'RE LEIF GARRETT? What happened to you? You gold locks, your succulent lips, your big eyes... Gosh, now you look like, like..just an average druggie.
Leif: "Yeah, yeah, get over it lady.""Look, I'm so glad you came, bathroom is down the hall. Just make sure to clean it up real good."
AEPP: "What are you talking about? I'm here for a celebrity interview."
Leif: "You mean you're not Rosa? Carlos' sister? He didn't send you with the..uh..the stuff?"
AEPP: "Nope. Sorry, got nothing, not even a nicotine patch. Can't help you there buddy."
Leif: "Sh*t! ARE YOU SURE? Can you stick your finger up there to see if there is anything stashed up in any of your orifices?"
AEPP: "Dude, look, they body searched me before they let me in, and they were pretty THOUROUGH if you know what I mean...so, PLEASE, I just want to ask you a some celebrity questions for my readers."
Leif: "Look, I already know what you're going to ask. Where did I go wrong...another teen idol tragic story, blah blah blah... I've heard it all and I don't have anything more to say."
AEPP: "Well, okay. If you're going to be a druggie dick about it, just one question really. Would you sign my 1977 copy of Tiger Beat with you as the centerfold?
Leif: "Fu*k, let me see that thing!! No way! I was HOT!" Sh*t, gimmie that pen, course I'll sign that. Sooo, you were pretty into me huh?"
AEPP:" TOTALLY!" I had to do soo many chores to get the money to buy your album! I still remember when my Mom took me to Tower Records to get it! You looked like such a babe in the tight white polyester suit with the burgandy shirt! I couldn't wait to get it home to play 'Run Around Sue!!'
Leif: "Yeah, those were the days." Hey, you seem like a nice young lady. You wanna help a fallen teenage idol get back up again?"
AEPP: "Ummm, what do you mean by that?"
Leif: "Here. Press your body against the bars here...and I can feel you up."
AEPP: "Wow. What an offer. But, I think I'll pass." "GUARDS! IM READY TO LEAVE!"
Leif: "Yeah, youre' one of THOSE groupies. Tease and taunt me, but when it's time to give it up it's like 'oh, I'm sorry, just because I was waving my boobs in your face while you were singing, doesn't mean I want to fu*k YOU!"
AEPP: "Good luck Leif!"
Lief: "Hey, if you see Rosa out there, send her the f*uck in!"
The AEPP is a fake press organization, and just like so many celebrity interviews, this one is completely fabricated.
posted by Mom on the Run @ 10:22 AM |


<< Home